Your Guide to Finding Meaning in Life’s Big Questions
Have you ever found yourself lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, and asking the big questions? Why am I here? What is my purpose? Does any of this truly matter? These moments of profound questioning are not signs of a problem, but rather signs of being human. They are the echoes of a deeper search for meaning, a quest that lies at the very heart of our existence.
This journey into the core of what it means to be alive is the territory of existential therapy. It’s a unique approach to mental health that, rather than concentrating on specific thought patterns and behaviours, looks at you, the whole person, navigating the beautiful and terrifying landscape of life. It’s a conversation about freedom, responsibility, death, and the search for a life of substance. This is not about finding easy answers, because there are none. It is about learning to ask better questions and living bravely within them.
What Is Existential Therapy?
Existential therapy is a unique form of psychotherapy that focuses on the human condition as a whole. Rather than targeting specific symptoms of a mental disorder, it explores the deep, internal conflicts that arise from our confrontation with the fundamental realities of existence, such as freedom, meaning, death, and isolation.
It is less a set of techniques and more a philosophical way of being with a client. The therapy operates on the belief that many of our struggles, from anxiety to depression to a general sense of dissatisfaction, stem from our difficulty in coming to terms with these "givens" of life. It’s a collaborative exploration, a partnership where you and your therapist journey into the heart of your personal experience to uncover a more authentic way of living.
Unlike other therapies that may provide you with tools to manage your thoughts or behaviours, existential therapy helps you build a new foundation. It encourages you to examine your values, your assumptions, and your place in the world. The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to understand what your anxiety is telling you about how you are living, and to find the courage to live more fully in spite of it.
What Are the Core Principles of This Approach?
The foundation of existential therapy rests on a few profound and universal themes. These are not problems to be solved, but realities to be understood and integrated into our lives. By courageously facing these truths, we can move from a life of quiet desperation to one of active, engaged purpose.
How Does It Address Freedom and Responsibility?
Existential therapy posits that we are fundamentally free to choose our attitude, our actions, and ultimately, our path in life. While we cannot choose the circumstances we are born into, we always have the freedom to choose how we respond to them, and this freedom is both a magnificent gift and a heavy burden.
With this absolute freedom comes an inescapable responsibility. You, and you alone, are the author of your life. This realisation can be a source of immense anxiety, the feeling of standing at a cliff’s edge with infinite possibilities and no guaranteed outcome. It’s much easier to believe we are products of our past or victims of circumstance.
But embracing this responsibility is also the source of our greatest power. When you accept that you are in the driver’s seat, you are no longer a passive passenger. You can steer your life in a direction that aligns with your deepest values, creating a life of your own design rather than one dictated by others’ expectations. Therapy becomes a space to explore this freedom and learn to wield it with wisdom and courage.
What Is the Role of Meaning, or Meaninglessness?
This approach suggests that the universe does not provide us with a pre-packaged, inherent meaning for our lives. The difficult truth is that from an external perspective, our existence can appear arbitrary and meaningless. We are born, we live, and we die, often without cosmic fanfare.
This idea can initially feel nihilistic or depressing, but existential thinkers see it as the ultimate liberation. If there is no one-size-fits-all meaning, then we are free to create our own. Meaning is not something you find, like a hidden treasure, but something you build, decision by decision, commitment by commitment.
Your meaning might be found in love, in creativity, in service to others, in seeking justice, or in the pursuit of knowledge. It is found in what you dedicate yourself to, what you are willing to struggle for. An existential therapist helps you explore what truly matters to you, peeling back layers of societal conditioning to uncover the values that can serve as the bedrock for a meaningful life.
Why Is Confronting Death and Anxiety Important?
Existential therapy views our awareness of mortality not as a morbid preoccupation, but as a powerful catalyst for authentic living. The fact that our time is finite is precisely what makes it so precious. If we had forever, there would be no urgency to love, to create, to experience, or to become who we are meant to be.
Death awareness functions as a wake-up call. It shakes us out of our trivial concerns and forces us to confront what is truly important. It asks the question, "Knowing that this life will end, how do I want to live it right now?" Facing this reality allows us to live more fully in the present, appreciating the moments we have.
Anxiety, from this perspective, is not a pathology to be medicated away. It is a natural and unavoidable part of being a sensitive, aware human being confronting the realities of freedom, meaninglessness, and death. Existential anxiety is a signal that we are touching upon something deeply important, a call to pay attention and make conscious choices about how we are living.
How Does It View Isolation and Connection?
This therapy acknowledges a fundamental truth about our existence, we are born alone and we die alone. No one can experience the world through our eyes, feel our pain for us, or live our life for us. This "existential isolation" is an unbridgeable gap between ourselves and every other person, a deep awareness of our ultimate separateness.
While this may sound lonely, acknowledging this separateness is the first step toward true connection. It is only when we accept our own unique and separate selfhood that we can reach out to another person authentically, not to merge with them or lose ourselves, but to connect, being to being.
The desire to overcome this isolation drives our need for relationships. Existential therapy helps you explore how you connect with others. Are your relationships based on a fear of being alone, leading to dependency or conformity? Or are they built on a foundation of mutual respect for each other’s separateness, allowing for genuine intimacy and love? It encourages relationships that honour both our profound aloneness and our deep need for connection.
Who Can Benefit from Existential Therapy?
Anyone who is grappling with life’s big questions, facing a major life transition, or experiencing a pervasive sense of emptiness, anxiety, or lack of purpose can find immense value in this approach. It is not limited to individuals with a diagnosed mental health condition, but is for anyone seeking to live a more conscious and meaningful life.
This therapy is particularly powerful for people at a crossroads. This could be a career change, the end of a relationship, a "mid-life crisis," or receiving a serious health diagnosis. These moments often force us to re-evaluate everything we thought we knew, making them fertile ground for existential exploration.
It also resonates deeply with those who feel that something is fundamentally "missing," even when their life looks successful on the outside. If you have achieved your goals but still feel unfulfilled, or if you feel like an actor playing a role in your own life, existential therapy can help you reconnect with your authentic self. It is for the seekers, the thinkers, and the feelers who suspect there is more to life than just getting by.
What Happens in a Typical Session?
A typical existential therapy session is less about structured exercises and more about a deep, collaborative, and philosophical conversation between you and your therapist. It is an authentic human encounter where the focus is entirely on your subjective experience of being in the world.
You will not be given worksheets or assigned homework in the traditional sense. Instead, your therapist will listen intently, asking probing questions designed to deepen your self-awareness. They might ask about your dreams, your fears, your values, and the choices you are facing. The dialogue is the therapy.
The therapist acts not as a detached expert with all the answers, but as a fellow traveller, a guide who is also grappling with the same human condition. They will challenge your assumptions, point out contradictions in your way of living, and help you see the patterns that keep you stuck. The atmosphere is one of curiosity, respect, and a shared commitment to exploring the truth of your experience, no matter how difficult that may be.
How Is It Different from Other Therapies like CBT?
While therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) focus on specific symptoms and teach practical coping skills, existential therapy takes a much broader view, exploring the underlying philosophical concerns that contribute to your distress. The two approaches address human suffering from fundamentally different angles.
CBT is highly structured and goal-oriented. It would help you identify and challenge a specific negative thought, like "I am a failure," and replace it with a more balanced one. It provides concrete tools to manage anxiety or change behaviours in the here and now. It is incredibly effective for specific problems and is focused on the "how" of your distress.
Existential therapy, in contrast, is less structured and more exploratory. Instead of just challenging the thought "I am a failure," it would ask, "What does failure mean to you? By whose standards are you measuring yourself? What would a life of ‘success’ look like, and is that what you truly want?" It dives into the "why" behind your feelings, addressing the foundational anxieties about purpose, freedom, and self-worth that give rise to the negative thoughts in the first place. One is a practical toolkit, the other is a philosophical exploration.
What Are the Goals of Existential Therapy?
The primary goal of existential therapy is not to eliminate anxiety or "cure" a problem in the medical sense. Instead, the ultimate aim is to help you live more authentically, take full responsibility for your life, discover and create your own meaning, and face life’s inevitable challenges with greater courage, awareness, and resilience.
Success in this therapy is not measured by a simple reduction in symptoms, though that often happens as a byproduct. It is measured by an increased capacity for self-awareness and an honest appraisal of your life. It is about moving from a state of denial or avoidance to one of active engagement with the realities of your existence.
The goals are deeply personal and unfold over time. They might include clarifying your personal values, making choices that are more aligned with those values, improving your relationships by connecting more authentically, and developing a greater tolerance for the uncertainty and anxiety that are part of life. Ultimately, the goal is to empower you to become the author of a life that you, yourself, deem meaningful and well-lived.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is existential therapy depressing?
No, quite the opposite. While it directly confronts difficult topics like death, meaninglessness, and anxiety, the purpose is not to dwell on the negative. The goal is to use these powerful realities as motivation to live more fully and appreciate the time we have. By facing what is difficult, we often find a deeper sense of gratitude, purpose, and joy.
How long does this kind of therapy take?
There is no set timeline for existential therapy. It is not a quick fix but a deep, exploratory process. The duration depends entirely on your individual needs and goals. Some people may find significant clarity in a few months, while others may choose to engage in this form of self-exploration for a year or longer as they navigate different life stages.
Do I need to be religious or philosophical?
Not at all. Existential therapy is not tied to any specific religion or belief system. It is concerned with the universal human experience, regardless of one’s spiritual or non-spiritual background. You do not need to have a background in philosophy, you only need to be curious about your own life and willing to explore it honestly.
Can it help with anxiety or depression?
Yes, it can be very effective for anxiety and depression, but it approaches them differently. Instead of just treating the symptoms, it explores the root causes. It might help you understand how your depression is linked to a feeling of powerlessness or a lack of meaning, or how your anxiety stems from the overwhelming nature of your freedom and responsibility. By addressing these core issues, lasting relief from symptoms can be achieved.
***
Your life is a story, and you are its author. Every day presents a new page, a new choice, a new opportunity to live with intention. But sometimes, we lose the plot. We feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of which way to turn. The big questions of life can feel too heavy to carry alone.
At Counselling-uk, we believe that you don’t have to. We provide a safe, confidential, and professional space to explore these very challenges. Our mission is to offer support for all of life’s journeys, helping you find your own answers and build a life of meaning and purpose. If you are ready to move beyond just surviving and start truly living, we are here to walk alongside you. Take the first step today.
In order to address these challenges, therapists should provide clients with a safe environment where they can explore difficult topics without fear or judgement. Therapists should also provide structure when needed, such as providing resources or direction when making life decisions. Therefore, therapists should ensure that they build trust and understanding with their clients over time by creating an open dialogue about what works best for them in terms of treatment goals and progress.