Embracing the Here and Now: Your Guide to Gestalt Counselling
Have you ever felt stuck, replaying past events in your mind or worrying endlessly about the future? Do you feel disconnected from your own emotions, as if you’re just going through the motions? Gestalt counselling is a unique and powerful form of therapy that brings the focus squarely into the present moment. It helps you understand not just what you are feeling, but how you are experiencing your life, right here, right now.
This approach is less about digging up the past for its own sake and more about exploring how that past affects your present reality. It’s a creative, dynamic, and deeply humanistic therapy built on the idea that with greater awareness comes greater choice. By understanding your patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving in the moment, you can unlock the power to change them, leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life. This guide will walk you through everything you need to know about this transformative practice.
What is Gestalt Counselling?
Gestalt counselling is a holistic and person-centred form of psychotherapy that focuses on an individual’s experience in the present moment. It operates on the core belief that people are best understood in the context of their current environment and that true healing comes from self-awareness.
The word "Gestalt" is a German term that means "whole" or "form." This concept is central to the therapy. A Gestalt therapist helps you see the complete picture of your life, integrating your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and behaviours into a unified whole. Instead of breaking you down into parts, it seeks to understand how all these elements work together.
This therapeutic style is highly experiential. It’s not just about talking about problems, it’s about actively exploring them within the safety of the therapy session. A therapist might use creative experiments or exercises to help you become more aware of how you interact with the world and how you might be holding yourself back from true connection and satisfaction.
The ultimate goal is not for the therapist to "fix" you, but to empower you. Through guided self-discovery, you learn to recognise your own needs, take responsibility for your choices, and develop the skills to solve your own problems. It is a journey toward self-regulation and personal growth.
Where Did Gestalt Therapy Originate?
Gestalt therapy was developed in the 1940s and 1950s by a team of influential thinkers, most notably Frederick "Fritz" Perls, his wife Laura Perls, and the author and intellectual Paul Goodman. It emerged as a powerful alternative to the more rigid and deterministic psychoanalysis of the time.
Fritz Perls was originally trained as a psychoanalyst but grew dissatisfied with its focus on the past and the detached role of the therapist. He, along with Laura, who had a background in Gestalt psychology and modern dance, envisioned a more vibrant and present-focused approach. They wanted a therapy that treated the person as a whole, engaging their mind, body, and emotions simultaneously.
The philosophical roots of Gestalt therapy are deep and varied. It draws heavily from existentialism, which emphasizes freedom, responsibility, and the search for meaning in a world without inherent purpose. It is also grounded in phenomenology, a philosophy that prioritises subjective experience, what is directly perceived and felt by the individual.
This unique blend of psychology, philosophy, and creative expression created a therapy that was revolutionary for its time. It moved away from the idea of the therapist as an all-knowing expert and toward a more collaborative, authentic relationship between two human beings. This foundation continues to make Gestalt counselling a relevant and powerful tool for personal change today.
What Are the Core Principles of This Approach?
Gestalt counselling is built on a foundation of interconnected principles that guide both the therapist and the client. These ideas work together to create a framework for exploring the self and fostering profound personal growth. Understanding them can help you grasp the unique power of this therapeutic method.
Each principle flows into the next, creating a holistic model for change. From the immediacy of the present moment to the importance of taking ownership of your life, these concepts are the heart and soul of the Gestalt experience. They are not just abstract theories, but practical guides for living a more aware and integrated life.
Why Is the ‘Here and Now’ So Important?
The absolute cornerstone of Gestalt therapy is the focus on the "here and now," or the present moment. This principle asserts that the only time we can truly experience anything, make a choice, or enact change is right now.
While the past certainly informs who we are and the future holds our aspirations, we often get lost in them. We might ruminate on past hurts or feel anxious about what’s to come, preventing us from fully living in the present. Gestalt therapy brings you back to your immediate experience, your current thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations.
By concentrating on the present, you can see your patterns as they happen. For example, instead of just talking about your anxiety, a Gestalt therapist will help you explore what anxiety feels like in your body at that very moment. This direct experience is far more powerful than intellectual analysis alone, providing clear insight into how you function and how you can begin to change.
How Does ‘Wholeness’ Relate to Therapy?
This approach views each person as a complete organism whose mind, body, and emotions are inseparable. The principle of "wholeness," or holism, means that you cannot understand one part of a person without considering all the other parts. Your thoughts affect your physical posture, your emotions influence your thinking, and your body holds your life experiences.
Many of our problems arise when we disown or ignore parts of ourselves. We might suppress our anger, intellectualise our sadness, or ignore the tension in our shoulders. Gestalt therapy works to bring these fragmented parts back into a unified, integrated whole.
The goal is to help you become more aware of this interconnectedness. By paying attention to your body language, tone of voice, and emotional shifts during a session, you start to see the full picture of your experience. This integration is what allows for authentic self-expression and healing.
What is ‘Unfinished Business’?
"Unfinished business" refers to unresolved feelings, memories, and grievances from the past that intrude upon your present life. These are emotions that were never fully processed or expressed at the time they occurred, such as resentment, anger, grief, or guilt.
These lingering feelings don’t just disappear, they demand attention. They can manifest as repetitive, unhelpful behaviours, unexplained anxiety, depression, or physical symptoms. You might find yourself overreacting to certain situations or getting stuck in the same relational patterns because old issues are being triggered.
Gestalt therapy provides a safe space to finally face and complete this business. Through techniques like the empty chair exercise, you can express what was left unsaid and process those trapped emotions. By resolving the past in the present, you free up enormous amounts of energy and can engage with your life more fully and authentically.
How Does Awareness Lead to Change?
In Gestalt counselling, awareness is the primary agent of change. The therapy is less about the therapist telling you what to do and more about helping you become deeply aware of what you are doing, how you are doing it, and what choices you have in the moment.
This isn’t just intellectual understanding, it’s a felt sense of your own process. It’s noticing the catch in your breath when you talk about your boss, the way you clench your jaw when you feel criticised, or the story you tell yourself to avoid feeling vulnerable. This level of self-knowledge is profoundly illuminating.
The paradox of Gestalt therapy is that true change occurs when you become who you are, not when you try to be who you are not. By accepting and becoming fully aware of your present reality without judgment, you naturally begin to see new possibilities and pathways for change. Awareness itself creates the capacity for choice, and with choice comes the power to grow.
What is the Role of Personal Responsibility?
Personal responsibility is a crucial theme that empowers you to move from a passive victim of circumstances to an active agent in your own life. It’s not about blame, but about acknowledging the part you play in creating your own experiences and responses.
This means recognising that you have choices, even in difficult situations. While you cannot control what others do or what happens to you, you can control how you respond. A Gestalt therapist will gently guide you to see where you might be avoiding responsibility, perhaps by blaming others or seeing yourself as helpless.
A key way this is encouraged is through language. A therapist might invite you to change "I can’t" to "I won’t," or "I have to" to "I choose to." This simple shift can be incredibly powerful, highlighting your own agency and capacity to shape your life. Embracing personal responsibility is the key to unlocking true freedom and self-direction.
What Happens in a Gestalt Counselling Session?
A Gestalt counselling session is a dynamic and collaborative experience that feels very different from traditional talk therapy. The focus is on what is happening in the room between you and the therapist, using that interaction as a microcosm of your life outside.
You can expect the session to be active and experimental. The therapist is not a passive listener but an engaged partner in your exploration. They will pay close attention not just to your words, but to your body language, tone of voice, and breathing, seeing them as vital sources of information.
The atmosphere is one of creative curiosity. The therapist might suggest "experiments," which are activities designed to increase your awareness of a particular feeling or behaviour pattern. The goal is always to bring you into more direct contact with your own experience, fostering insight that comes from within.
How Does the Therapist-Client Relationship Work?
The relationship between you and your Gestalt therapist is fundamental to the healing process. It is a genuine, authentic, and transparent partnership based on trust and respect, often referred to as an "I-Thou" relationship.
Unlike some therapies where the therapist remains a distant expert, a Gestalt counsellor is present with you as a fellow human being. They will be honest and direct, sharing their own perceptions and reactions to what is happening between you. This modelling of authentic contact helps you learn how to be more genuine in your own relationships.
This relationship serves as a safe laboratory for you to experiment with new ways of being and relating. The therapist’s role is to support you, but also to gently challenge the ways you might avoid contact or interrupt your own awareness. It is through this real, live interaction that much of the therapeutic work is done.
What is the Empty Chair Technique?
The empty chair technique is one of the most well-known and powerful experiments in Gestalt therapy. It is used to explore internal conflicts or to resolve "unfinished business" with another person, whether they are living or deceased.
The therapist will set up an empty chair opposite you. You are then invited to imagine a person, or even a part of yourself, sitting in that chair. You speak to the chair as if that person or part were truly there, expressing your thoughts and feelings openly.
Then, you switch seats. You move into the empty chair and respond from the perspective of the other person or the part of yourself you were just addressing. This dialogue between the two chairs allows you to see a conflict from multiple viewpoints, access suppressed emotions, and gain a much deeper understanding of your internal world. It brings abstract conflicts to life, making them tangible and resolvable.
How is Body Language Interpreted?
In Gestalt counselling, your body is seen as a source of immense wisdom, communicating truths that your words may hide. Your posture, gestures, and physical sensations are not interpreted by the therapist in a rigid way, but are brought into your awareness for you to explore.
A therapist might notice that you tap your foot when talking about your family or cross your arms when discussing your career. Instead of telling you what it means, they will invite you to notice it yourself. They might say, "I see your hands are clenched. What are you aware of in your hands right now?"
This process, known as focusing on the "what and how," helps you connect your physical experience with your emotional state. You might discover that the tension in your jaw is unexpressed anger or the butterflies in your stomach are excitement you’ve been suppressing. By listening to your body, you access a deeper layer of self-awareness.
What is Exaggeration in this Context?
Exaggeration is another creative experiment used to intensify your awareness of a particular behaviour or physical symptom. It involves taking a subtle gesture, posture, or statement and making it bigger and more pronounced.
For example, if the therapist notices you have a slight frown, they might ask you to exaggerate it, to make the biggest, most dramatic frown you can. If you repeatedly say you feel "a little bit annoyed," they might ask you to say it again and again, each time with more force and volume.
The purpose of this is to bypass your intellectual defences and get to the core emotion or meaning behind the subtle action. As you exaggerate the behaviour, the underlying feeling, such as deep-seated anger or profound sadness, often comes to the surface where it can be acknowledged and processed. It’s a powerful way to make the unconscious conscious.
Who Can Benefit from Gestalt Counselling?
Gestalt counselling can benefit a wide range of individuals who are seeking greater self-awareness, personal growth, and a more authentic way of living. It is particularly helpful for those who feel stuck, disconnected from their emotions, or trapped in repetitive life patterns.
Because of its focus on the whole person, it is not limited to specific diagnoses. It can be effective for people dealing with anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, trauma, grief, and major life transitions. It is for anyone who is curious about themselves and willing to engage in an active, exploratory process.
The therapy is best suited for those who want to move beyond simply talking about their problems and are ready to experience them in a new way. If you are looking to understand how you get in your own way and want to take more responsibility for your life, Gestalt counselling could be a very powerful fit.
Can It Help with Anxiety and Depression?
Yes, Gestalt therapy can be highly effective in helping individuals manage and overcome anxiety and depression. It addresses these conditions by focusing on the underlying processes rather than just the symptoms.
For anxiety, which is often rooted in fears about the future, the "here and now" focus is incredibly grounding. The therapy helps you identify how you create anxiety in the present moment through your thoughts and physical responses. By becoming aware of this process, you can learn to interrupt it and find a sense of calm and centeredness.
With depression, which can be linked to "unfinished business" or anger turned inward, Gestalt techniques help to unearth and express these suppressed emotions. By bringing life and energy back into what has been numbed or repressed, the therapy can help lift the weight of depression and reconnect you with your own vitality.
Is It Effective for Relationship Problems?
Gestalt counselling is exceptionally well-suited for addressing relationship problems. Its core concepts of contact, awareness, and responsibility are directly applicable to how we interact with others.
The therapy helps you understand your "contact style," which is your personal pattern of connecting with or withdrawing from people. You can explore how you might be avoiding true intimacy, creating conflict, or failing to communicate your needs clearly. The therapeutic relationship itself becomes a safe place to practice new, healthier ways of relating.
By working through your own "unfinished business," you can stop projecting past hurts onto your current relationships. This allows you to see your partner, family, and friends more clearly for who they are, rather than through the lens of your own unresolved issues. This leads to more authentic, satisfying, and meaningful connections.
Can It Improve Self-Esteem?
Absolutely. Improving self-esteem is a natural outcome of the Gestalt counselling process. Low self-esteem often stems from a disconnect with one’s true self, driven by internalised criticism and a failure to accept all parts of who we are.
Gestalt therapy helps you dismantle the negative self-talk and judgmental voices in your head, often by externalising them through techniques like the empty chair. By giving voice to both the "top dog" (the critical part) and the "underdog" (the victimised part), you can find a more compassionate and integrated middle ground.
As you become more aware of your strengths, needs, and feelings, and learn to accept them without judgment, your sense of self-worth naturally grows. The emphasis on personal responsibility empowers you to stop seeking validation from others and to start valuing yourself from within. This fosters a stable and authentic self-esteem that is not dependent on external approval.
How Does Gestalt Differ from Other Therapies?
Gestalt therapy’s primary distinction is its unwavering commitment to the present moment and its experiential nature. While other therapies may discuss feelings or past events, Gestalt brings them into the room to be experienced and worked through directly.
It is less interpretive than psychoanalysis and less structured than Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). The focus is on the "what and how" of your experience, rather than the "why." The goal is to raise awareness, believing that awareness itself is curative, rather than providing a set of pre-defined coping strategies.
How is it Different from CBT?
The main difference lies in their focus and method. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a structured approach that focuses on identifying and changing specific irrational thoughts and maladaptive behaviours. It is often more directive, with the therapist teaching specific skills and assigning homework.
Gestalt therapy, in contrast, is less structured and more process-oriented. It is concerned with the whole person and their subjective experience, not just their thoughts and behaviours. Instead of trying to change a thought, a Gestalt therapist helps you become aware of how you are thinking and feeling in the moment, trusting that this awareness will lead to organic change.
How is it Different from Psychoanalysis?
Gestalt therapy grew out of psychoanalysis but diverged in several key ways. Traditional psychoanalysis focuses heavily on the past, particularly early childhood experiences, and the unconscious mind. The therapist often acts as a detached "blank screen" onto whom the client projects their feelings.
Gestalt therapy brings the focus to the present moment, asserting that the past is only relevant in how it manifests right now. The therapist is not a blank screen but an active and authentic participant in the relationship. The goal is not to interpret the unconscious, but to raise awareness of what is immediately present in your experience, including your body and emotions.
What Should I Look for in a Gestalt Therapist?
Finding the right Gestalt therapist involves looking for a combination of professional qualifications and personal compatibility. The quality of the therapeutic relationship is paramount in this approach, so feeling a sense of trust and connection is essential.
You should seek a therapist who has specific, accredited training in Gestalt therapy from a reputable institution. Look for credentials and membership in professional bodies, which ensure they adhere to ethical standards. However, qualifications alone are not enough.
During an initial consultation, pay attention to how you feel in their presence. Do they seem authentic and engaged? Do you feel seen and heard? A good Gestalt therapist will be warm, supportive, and also willing to challenge you respectfully. Trust your gut feeling, as the right fit is crucial for this deeply personal work.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does Gestalt therapy usually last?
The duration of Gestalt therapy is highly individual and depends on your specific needs and goals. It can be used for short-term work focusing on a particular issue, or for longer-term, in-depth personal development. There is no fixed timeline, as the process unfolds organically at your own pace.
Is Gestalt therapy confrontational?
While Gestalt therapy can be challenging, it is not confrontational in an aggressive or hostile way. The "challenge" comes from the therapist gently but firmly inviting you to stay with your present experience and face parts of yourself you might normally avoid. This is always done from a place of support and respect, with the aim of fostering awareness, not causing distress.
Can I do Gestalt therapy online?
Yes, many Gestalt therapists now offer sessions online. While traditional Gestalt therapy values in-person contact, the core principles can be effectively adapted to a virtual setting. A skilled online therapist can still pay close attention to your non-verbal cues and create a strong, authentic therapeutic relationship through video calls.
What does the word ‘Gestalt’ actually mean?
The word "Gestalt" is a German term that does not have a perfect one-word equivalent in English. It roughly translates to "whole," "form," "pattern," or "configuration." In the context of therapy, it refers to the idea that a person is a complete entity and can only be understood as a whole, rather than as a collection of separate parts.
At Counselling-uk, we understand that life presents challenges that can feel overwhelming. Finding the right path forward begins with finding a safe, confidential, and professional space to be heard. Our accredited therapists, including those skilled in Gestalt counselling, are here to support you in exploring your present, understanding your whole self, and discovering the power of awareness. Take the first step toward a more authentic life. Reach out today.
